Make Homebrew Not War
For it is without a doubt the more fun of the two.
And if the directions are followed correctly
it rarely kills anyone directly.
It has been linked to stabbings, shootings
and all other manner of murders and mayhems.
Yet no more so than that other creature called ‘Love’
In fact the former negatives usually only come into practice
when the two are suicidally mixed together.
One must always be careful when juggling different explosives.
I have seen the stuff work miracles
and turn the plain and average into handsome and beautiful.
Give the normally weak and placid the courage of the Dutch.
It has brought couples together in marriage and apart in divorce,
there are both positive and negative to both of these.
There have been babies conceived in the midst of its effects and aroma
and then 9 months later it is called back in to wet the wee head.
It cures shyness, apathy, stuttering, confidence issues, hangovers,
tension headaches, both good and ill humour, regret, constipation
and many urinary tract problems.
It makes a dull day bright and a sunny day even brighter.
It enhances singing, laughter and the composing of rhyme
and it will help you dance an energetic pogo or a mean foxtrot.
But the proof of the pudding is in the eating, so to speak
so try a few of mine whilst you think it over,
it’s 2 bob back for every empty bottle that you return