I Found it Hard to Climb in Darkness
I found it hard to climb those stairs
and I was minding my steps
lest I should fall into emptiness
and that void be death,
lest I should never get near you.
It was the smell of dust
following drizzling rain
in which sparrows were bathing.
It was a sanatorium at night
with lights on all floors,
like universities during times of exams.
I was writing in my diary
and I did not forgive myself,
as if I were a stranger to myself.
I would go out not too far
as if after a long convalescence,
at the wood's edge,
where beasts are afraid to come.