Pennies cost more to produce than they are actually worth. That,s you. You're about as valuable as a pair of tickets to see Nickelback play Siberia. There are eighteen inch replicas of Stonehenge more majestic than you.
If Grendel's mother were to offer you to her son as a bride, Grendel would whisper, "Mom, can I have a word with you in the other room?" Not even the Elephant Man can bear to look upon your visage. If only your mother had tied you up in a burlap sack and tossed you in the river the way you're supposed to when dealing with runts.
You're like a seven-hundred-and-fifty piece puzzle in a blank card board box. No one in their right mind would even exert the effort because even though some people like puzzles, people themselves are no fun to put together. The pieces change shape at will, destroying any progress that has already been made. You're more likely to end in a flipped table than a clear picture.
You should take after Houdini and disappear or die of peritonitis. Either escape will work. Be sure to promise someone you love that you will try to contact them after death by way of a secret code. On second thought, no one loves you so don't bother.